Living with Chronic Pain: Finding Strength, Resilience, and Support
Co Authors - Olivia Robillard and Alex Henderson speak from personal experience to guide others through their experience to support strength and resilience in the face of chronic pain
Chronic pain can be debilitating, but it can also be a source of immense strength and resilience.
Chronic pain is more than just discomfort—it’s a daily negotiation with your body, a constant background noise that can shape how you live, work, and connect with the world. Whether it stems from an ongoing health condition or lingers long after an injury has healed, chronic pain isn’t just physical; it affects mental health, emotions, and even our sense of identity. If you’ve been navigating life with persistent pain, you’re not alone, and there are ways to reclaim a sense of balance, resilience, and hope.
When Pain Doesn’t Fade
Pain is supposed to be temporary—a warning system that tells us something is wrong so we can heal and move on. But when pain doesn’t go away, it starts to ripple through every part of life. Simple, everyday activities that once felt effortless can become overwhelming. Sleep, movement, socializing, or even just getting through a workday can feel like high-stakes negotiations with your own body.
A major challenge of chronic pain is that it doesn’t just drain physical energy; it can wear down emotional resilience, too. Studies show that people with chronic pain are more likely to experience frustration, anxiety, and even a lowered threshold for stress and exhaustion. It can feel like an invisible weight—one that others may not always understand, but one that shapes your choices and experiences in profound ways.
Pain as Loss and the Shrinking of Life
One of the most difficult parts of chronic pain is the way it can slowly shrink your world. There’s a grief that comes with losing the ability to do things you once loved, whether that’s running, traveling, working, or even just moving through life without hesitation. The uncertainty of chronic pain—wondering how long it will last, if it will get worse, or if you’ll ever find relief—can be just as heavy as the pain itself.
At its core, chronic pain isn’t just about discomfort—it’s about adjustment. It forces you to rethink plans, make constant calculations about what’s possible, and accept a reality that may look very different from the one you envisioned. This shift can be painful in itself, leading to feelings of grief, sadness, and frustration.
A big part of this grief is the feeling of losing control. When pain is unpredictable, avoidance becomes second nature. You might find yourself skipping plans, pulling back from activities, or restructuring your life entirely around pain management. While protecting yourself is natural, it can also make life feel smaller and lonelier over time. This isn’t just about physical limitations; it’s about how pain changes your identity, forcing you to reconsider what’s possible and how you define yourself.
Pain, Resilience, and Adaptation
Resilience is often talked about as the ability to “bounce back” from hardship. But when it comes to chronic pain, resilience isn’t about going back to who you were before—it’s about learning to adapt, finding new ways to thrive, and redefining what strength looks like.
Pain, while challenging, can also be a teacher. Living with chronic pain means constantly problem-solving, adapting, and finding creative solutions to everyday challenges. It makes you a master negotiator—balancing rest and activity, pain management and pleasure, solitude and social connection. The more you recognize this strength within yourself, the more empowered you become.
Through pain, we learn:
Endurance: Chronic pain requires a level of persistence and strength that few understand. Facing each day with this challenge is a testament to resilience.
Creativity: Adapting to pain means discovering new ways to engage with the world, whether it’s modifying activities, exploring alternative treatments, or finding small ways to experience joy.
Negotiation: Living with pain requires constant balance—learning when to push forward and when to rest, how to advocate for yourself, and how to navigate a world that doesn’t always accommodate invisible conditions.
How Therapy Can Help
Chronic pain can be a downward spiral but there are supports at every stage of the cycle available to us.
Building resilience in the face of chronic pain isn’t always intuitive. Therapy can be an essential tool for developing emotional resources, processing frustration and grief, and learning strategies to manage pain’s psychological impact. It’s not just about coping; it’s about reclaiming parts of yourself that pain may have overshadowed. (Use our Match with a Therapist tool to find a member of our team who can support you)
Different types of therapy can help in different ways:
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): This approach helps shift the focus from fighting pain to living alongside it. By practicing psychological flexibility, ACT allows individuals to make space for discomfort while continuing to engage in meaningful activities. It teaches mindfulness techniques to reduce the emotional struggle that often accompanies chronic conditions and fosters self-compassion by encouraging people to align their actions with their values rather than pain avoidance.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT is one of the most well-researched therapies for chronic pain. It focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that can intensify the perception of pain. Techniques like cognitive reframing help reduce pain catastrophizing, while behavioural strategies, such as pacing activities and relaxation exercises, provide practical ways to manage discomfort. Over time, these changes can shift how pain is experienced and reduce its impact on daily life.
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): MBSR integrates mindfulness meditation and gentle movement exercises to help individuals develop a non-judgmental awareness of pain. By focusing on the present moment, participants learn to observe pain sensations without becoming overwhelmed by them. Research suggests that MBSR reduces stress, anxiety, and depression—all of which can worsen chronic pain. This practice fosters emotional resilience and allows for a more balanced relationship with pain.
Somatic Therapy: This body-centered therapy focuses on the connection between physical sensations and emotions. Chronic pain is often exacerbated by stored tension and unresolved trauma, and somatic therapy helps release this tension through techniques like breathwork, guided movement, and body awareness exercises. By working directly with the nervous system, somatic therapy can help people regulate their stress response and reduce pain-related anxiety.
Group Therapy and Support Groups: Chronic pain can be isolating, making social support a crucial part of the healing process. Group therapy provides a space to connect with others who understand the challenges of living with chronic pain. Sharing experiences, coping strategies, and emotional support can reduce feelings of loneliness and depression. Additionally, hearing different perspectives can introduce new approaches to pain management that may not have been considered before.
Each of these approaches provides unique tools for managing chronic pain with greater ease, resilience, and self-compassion. At Nimble Counseling we believe that therapy should be available to all that’s why we offer Low-Cost Counselling with an initial free session
Reclaiming Your Life, One Step at a Time
Chronic pain may feel like it defines your life, but it doesn’t have to. Through therapy, support, and a commitment to understanding your own needs, it’s possible to build a life that feels fulfilling and meaningful—despite the challenges pain presents.
If you’re struggling with the emotional toll of chronic pain, seeking professional support can help you regain a sense of control. Whether it’s through mindfulness, therapy, or simply connecting with others who understand, there are ways to move forward with greater ease and resilience.
Pain may be a part of your story, but it’s not the whole story. And you don’t have to navigate it alone.
For more resources, check out:
Live Plan Be
Pain BC
Pain Waves Podcast
